Face

A drawing of a face. Eyebrows, eyes, nose, and pink-lined lips.

“How are you doing today?” Nessa inquired excitedly behind the cash register, smiling brightly.

“I am well, Nessa. How are you?” asked Emeri somberly, handing Nessa the book she wanted to purchase.

“I’m also doing well on this beautiful Monday! No complaints from me at this time”. Taking the book from Emeri, Nessa looked it over, raised her pierced eyebrow, and chuckled. 

Shifting her weight from one leg to another, Emeri felt the oncoming onslaught of judgment as she watched Nessa’s flawless arched eyebrow raise.

“I see you are turning it up a notch. Is it goodbye to your cave of numbness and hello to the world of emotions?” Nessa asked jokingly, intrigued. 

“Nessa, scan the book so I can pay.” Gritting her teeth, Emeri held herself back from snatching the book.

“Alright, alright!” Raising her hand in defeat, Nessa scanned the book.

Beep.

“I was just curious. I have a book I was going to recommend, but I’ll save it for next time. Your total is $19.85. You can swipe, insert, or tap your payment source on the payment terminal”. Gracefully, Nessa waved her hand to the payment machine, teasing Emeri.

Seeing that Emeri was not in the mood, Nessa added a smile.

Rolling her eyes, Emeri raised her wrist to pull up her wallet on her Pixel watch, then tapped to pay.

“Would you like a receipt?”

“No, thank you, and I don’t need a bag,” Emeri said, holding her hand out for the book.

Nessa extended the book to Emeri, who reached for it gladly but felt resistance when trying to take it.

“Take your time with this one. We can talk about it if you want,” Nessa said in a serious tone, letting go of the book.

Softly, Emeri smiled.

“If something comes up, I will have you in mind to speak about it. Enjoy your day, Nessa”. Slightly bowing her head, Emeri walked away.

“You too, Emeri,” Nessa replied softly to Emeri’s back.

Appreciation for Nessa’s concerns washed over Emeri. Besides the light crowd and books, Nessa was one of the reasons she went to Barnes and Noble on late Monday afternoons. Knowing someone well-rounded with books resulted in colorful conversations about adventures, mystery, history, folklore, and anything that sparked their interest. In all, Nessa was a great person to be around. Being standoffish to Nessa about a book was unusual for Emeri; however, this book was personal. 

Emeri looked down at the hardcover book as she walked towards the cafe. The paper covering the book was cream-colored with a crumbled-up look and feel. A face was painted in watercolors, blending into the crumbled cream-colored cover. Staring at Emeri was an insignificant face with round, empty black pupils, protected by short, full lashes, staring back at her with great intensity. This stare entered Emeri into an unwilling staring contest she could not break from. The nose mimicked the shape of a waterfall, flowing down in a rush to meet the end and beginning of a body of water awaiting its fill. There was no comfort of a smile or sadness in a frown that shaped the lips. Laying on the face were light pink lines that outlined and defined the soft, small shape of the plump lips, slightly parted as if to speak. The cheeks were brushed softly with gray, like the color of a mistake made by erasing a pencil marking. Emeri was enraptured with this face and intrigued by its title, “Facing Your Emotions.” 

“How can you look at something you felt?” Emeri wondered.

Entering the cafe, Emeri gratefully saw only one person in line. Walking up behind the person in line, Emeri held her book to her chest, happy with her find, and waited for her turn. Despite knowing what she wanted, Emeri browsed the menu above and behind the cashier, teasing the idea of trying something different. When it became time for Emeri to order, a Barista named Clark greeted her with a genuine smile. Clark was always there on Mondays. His youthful, busy, smiley presence in the cafe was another reason Emeri added to her list of why she enjoyed Barnes and Noble on a Monday afternoon.

“Hey, Clark,” Emeri smiled.

“I need to start having your coffee ready when I see you come in,” responded Clark.

Emeri smirked.

“That would be nice. We can start next Monday, and I’ll have the exact change in case of a line,” teased Emeri.

Laughing, Clark grabbed a medium coffee cup.

“I’ll have your medium hot coffee with French vanilla and cream ready in a moment,” Clark said, turning away. Then, he started preparing her coffee.

 Raising herself a little on her toes, Emeri extended her hand slightly over the counter to stop him. 

“Oh, I was thinking of trying something different.”

Clark turned back to her questioningly with an empty coffee filter in his hand. 

“Can you add some whipped cream on top?” asked Emeri with a little chuckle.

“I thought you were going to challenge me,” sighed Clark.

“Nope, just me,” Emeri replied, placing her feet back on the ground and lowering her hand.

“I’ll bring your coffee to you. I want to make you a fresh cup.”

“Awwwee, thanks, Clark. Take your time.”

Emeri walked over to an empty table in the middle of the cafe. She placed her purse on the chair to her left, sat down, and rested her book on the table neatly in front of her. Straightening her spine and relaxing her breath, Emeri sat straight in her chair. It was important for Emeri to pause, especially before reading a book. Placing her hand in her lap, she took some time to embrace her surroundings to ensure her safety and her place.

Large, tall windows outlined the edges of the bookstore and cafe. The natural light beaming through the windows lent a hand to the warm white lights of the bookstore, granting each book its spotlight on the shelves. Emeri inhaled the scents of coffee, paper, wood, and spices. Scanning the cafe, Emeri saw five other people. w girls were sitting engulfed in their separate books. A couple sat beside each other, conversing with a laptop open on the table between them. Lastly, sitting at a table in front of Emeri’s table, a man looked at her with curious eyes. Quickly looking away from him, Emeri saw Clark walking to her table to bring her cup of coffee. Emeri stood up to meet Clark and reached out her hand to take the coffee.

“Thank you, Clark”.

“Everything alright? I saw you sitting there almost in a daze”.

Ignoring Clark’s question, Emeri took a slow sip of her coffee, cautious of the heat. Warm vanilla coffee slowly leaked into her mouth, nearly melting her from its warmth and sweet taste. 

“Everything is perfect. Thank you again,” Emeri said, raising her right wrist to indicate she was ready to pay.

“Awesome”.

 Clark took his handheld payment terminal from his apron, and Emeri extended her Pixel watch to pay.

“Enjoy your day”.

“You too, Clark”.

Walking back to her chair and sitting down, Emeri still felt the stranger’s curious eyes. Pushing the stranger away from her thoughts and ignoring his presence, Emeri picked up her book. She opened it wide in front of her face to assist with blocking the stranger’s intrusive stare. Being watched embarrassed her, especially during those moments, she paused. Emeri was in a public space; therefore, she expected a glance or two, but blatantly, being stared at was uncomfortable. Shaking off the discomfort, she tried focusing on the first page, which displayed the title once more:

Facing Your Emotions.

She turned to the next page to see a quote:

Chew your food before you choke.

“Oh, wow. That is a bit aggressive,” Emeri thought with a chuckle.

While turning to the next page, a chair slid across the floor. Emeri could see a tall figure approaching her table without looking up from her book. Emeri had her fair share of small talk for one day and hoped the stranger would walk by her table towards the exit. Luck would see it no other way as the chair opposite her was pulled from her table, making a screeching sound resonating through the cafe.

“Fuck,” Emeri thought as the stranger took the seat.

Emeri raised the book slightly to block the stranger and her face. She may have sat tall, but he sat taller. It was childish of her to block him out and probably not the best thing to do, as she remembered the watercolor painting of the face that caught her attention. Curiosity will only grow within him, making her book shield weak. Emeri heard no sound of departure from the tall stranger; there were just waves of silence as they both sat, with the book blocking their view from each other. 

“Someone is sitting there,” Emeri said, breaking the silence while holding the book up.

“You are reading a self-help book,” the stranger responded in disbelief at what Emeri said.

“He went to the restroom and will be back any moment now, expecting his seat to be empty, as it should be,” she said, boldly annunciating should, sending another hint for him to leave.

“Hmph… and one of the lessons you will learn in that book, I am sure, is, to be honest”, the stranger responded in a calm, deep voice.

Emeri smiled behind the book as she stared at the table of contents and saw that on page 69, “Be Honest with Yourself” awaited her attention. Slightly and slowly, she started lowering the book.

First, she uncovered his lined-up hairline bordering the beginnings of cornrows braided back. A forehead followed, matching the color of lightly toasted toast with melted butter smeared, giving his brown skin a lovely gold. The skin on his forehead slowly wrinkled up in tiny folds as he patiently wondered what Emeri was doing. Smooth, lack, bushy eyebrows were unveiled next, one of which flexed upward, making her giggle at his silent question. The beginning of his golden eyelids came into view. Emeri saw the curl of his black lashes and paused. Her heart started to flutter, and she knew that once she saw his eyes, he would see hers. Quickly, his eyelashes dropped from her sight, then returned, signaling he blinked. She took a soft, deep breath and lowered the book some more. Below the curtain of his eyelashes presented dark gray eyes, which made Emeri wonder how many storms those eyes may have caused. Loosening his forehead muscles and leveling his eyebrows, the stranger’s stare changed from curiosity to voracity, as if seeing her eyes was not enough. Taken aback at the quick adjustment to his face, Emeri sat back slightly. 

“He’s the one who’s supposed to be uncomfortable!” Emeri thought as she tried to maintain her composure. The book still hid the bottom half of their faces, so she thought it best to keep lowering it to move on from his stare.

The beginnings of a beard appeared as his ears came into sight. Trickling down, Emeri saw more soft, black hair curling on his cheeks. A broad golden nose came into view, making his nosiness much more understandable to her. An articulately trimmed mustache curved up, warning her of a smile; Emeri remembered her eyes were in view, so she held back from rolling them. Coming into view, his brave, big, bold smile made from lips, plump and juicy like a plum ready for you to break its skin, to pour its ripeness into you, fluttered her heart some more. Impulsively, Emeri slowly tucked her bottom lip into her mouth, swiped her tongue over it, and let her lip slide back onto her face. More trimmed lack hair followed as she lowered the book to his chin. The ends of his braids touched the sides of his light brown neck. Emeri recognized his patience and quietness as he allowed her to examine him in this public space; however, was the choice his? Sliding her eyes down to his chest, Emeri saw his awareness of his posture because although his shirt was not tight, his chest still stood out. Closing the book and sitting it face up to the side, Emeri met his eyes with hers again.

“Is it that bad?” asked the stranger, looking down at her book.

“You have been warned,” responded Emeri.

“Hmph, haha,” the stranger chuckled darkly. He twisted his neck from left to right, making a cracking sound.

“Weirdo,” Emeri thought while squinting her eyes at him and picking up her cup of coffee to drink.

“I’m River,” he extended his hand to introduce himself. 

With the coffee cup still on her lips, Emeri looked down to where his hand waited in mid-air. Their interaction escalated, and small talk was almost inevitable without being rude. He slowly placed her coffee on the table without looking away from his hand. Emeri despised physical contact. There was no need to be touched, especially by strangers.

“Strangers always want to be touched… Why?” thought Emeri.

Seeing that his hand was not going down without a fight, Emeri compromised by balling up her hand into a fist to indicate her comfort in a first pump instead. Nodding his head in understanding, River made a fist. When their knuckles met, there was a slight shock⚡️. Emeri opened her fist, wiggling her fingers, and made an explosion sound with her mouth. It was much more exciting than a handshake. 

“You shocked me,” River said, pulling his hand in. He smiled at her exploding hand dance and sound.

“Just imagine my shock when you sat at my table,” Emeri was not petty, but when the opportunity presented itself, she always took it.

River cracked a smile. She offered her name since he was handling her awkwardness well, possibly even being more awkward than her. 

“I am Emeri, and River is a nice name that is very easy to understand.”

“My mother named me River because, well, you know…life,” River replied, glancing at her book.

Emeri snickered. 

“A mysterious wonder, an interesting show if you notice the minute details.” Picking up her cup, Emeri took a sip. River scooted his chair closer to the table.

“Which is what you were doing before you started reading your book and why I came over.” He said.

Putting her coffee cup down, Emeri drew her body closer to the table. Entwining her fingers together, she rested them on the table, curious about his observation.

Meeting a woman so assured does not happen often; River mostly answers the questions. The disheartening part of having conversations nowadays is the lack of input he receives in return; therefore, River found Emeri enticing. Even when she was just lowering the book, so much was said, and he wanted her to say more. Emeri was so guarded and determined to discover River’s intent that he didn’t know what to do besides stare and wait with curiosity.

Emeri displayed no shame when looking at him intensely; she did not care if she made him uncomfortable. Her goal was to encourage his departure quickly and safely or to find more truth.

In his way, Boulders was a natural occurrence that River had learned to maneuver through and around. Looking away from her eyes, River stared at her hair. Black and gold hair streaks pulled back into a tight bun, pulling back her eyes to give her an even more sharp look. Her skin was a warm brown with small pimples and blemishes lightly decorating her face. A beauty mark, the size of a small bead, sat below her left eye on her cheek. River imagined the beauty mark on her cheek moving up when she smiled, but he doubted he would see that phenomenon now.

“I enjoy moments of silence, be it alone or with others. Sometimes, there is just too much going on, and I need it all to stop. For me, it is important to have those moments before reading a book, especially if I am going to read in public places,” Emeri described.

“It is like giving the Author your undivided attention.”

“Exactly. I believe the Author would appreciate not only my purchase but also my understanding of the apparent and undiscovered meaning they may not have ever thought of.”

River leaned back and looked at Emeri.

“There’s nothing wrong with your emotions, is there?” he said, crossing his arms onto his chest and sitting back on the chair.

“Aahahahahahahaahaa,” Emeri laughed aloud. She covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. Emeri composed herself again, leaned back into her chair, and placed her hands on her lap. She settled her funny bone and set her face to normal.

Phenomenon spotted.

“Your smile is like an earthquake shaking a mountain,” described River wonderingly.

“Was I that loud?” asked Emeri with wide eyes covering her mouth.

“No, it was that beautiful,” River responded thoughtfully.

“Alright, you’re losing control.” 

“Inspiring,” whispered River jokingly.

They could no longer keep straight faces. Laughter poured from their guts and vibrated their chests as they tried to laugh softly, mindful of others in the cafe.

Her hand gravitated towards her coffee cup for another sip while waiting for another question or outburst. Today was turning out to be a wonderful Monday.

“What do you do for a living?” asked River.

“I am a Sleep Therapist. How about you? What do you do for a living?” Emeri was curious to know what took most of his attention.

“Are there a lot of people out there with trouble sleeping?” he asked, dismissing her question.

“Yes, and too much sleeping. There is a mix. One end of the spectrum is higher than the other, depending on the year.”

“Interesting”.

“If only you knew,” sighed Emeri.

“I’m in Product Management for a large distribution company. I know more or less about sleep, no matter the year.” 

“Mmmm,” expressed Emeri, taking in the last sip of coffee.

“I’m typically the one to price your coffee,” River said proudly, nodding his head towards her coffee cup.

“A restless year,” Emeri huffed, shaking her head.

“Bruh, it’s not that serious.”

“Nice to know you are doing well,” said Emeri, putting the empty cup down.

Together, they laughed as softly as possible, aware of the side eyes looking their way.

“I’m enjoying this useless conversation,” River said, flowing through the rocks.

“If only you knew,” staying firm in her sanity.

“Do you need another cup of coffee?”

“Not at all; I’m full of caffeine.”

“Oh,” he looked at his hands as if it were his doing.

“So cocky,” squinching her face mockingly.

“hmph, If only you knew,” he smiled.

“The madness has to stop. Do you want my number?” asked Emeri.

“Yes, please.” there was no way he could cheese any harder.

Emeri gave River her number and expected him to check to see if the number was correct by calling her; however, he did not, and the madness continued. 

“Why read a self-help book on a subject you already know?” asked River.

“First, the cover is beautiful, and I know I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but it would be a nice addition to my mini library. Lastly, as a therapist, it is always good to know other ways to “face” emotions. I like to be well-rounded with information, especially because sleep habits and factors affecting sleep change”, described Emeri.

“You are very passionate about your work.”

“I care about my patients, and I love my work.”

 Sitting up in her chair, Emeri noticed for the first time River had no book.

“You have no book, why?” asked Emeri.

“I was taking a moment to decide what I wanted to read. I don’t do much leisure reading since all I need to read is provided at work. I thought I’d just come into the bookstore and get inspired to choose a book unrelated to work. I want to take my mind somewhere else for a change.” River instinctively turned to look left and saw books displayed on rows of bookshelves. 

When he turned his head back towards her, he saw Emeri straightening the strap of her spaghetti-strapped shirt on her right shoulder, catching her in a self-conscious moment. Emeri moved her hand away from her strap as his eyes followed the v-cut dimensions on her shirt. Of course, he noticed her nipples; however, he knew better than to linger long enough to figure out how many cups she filled.

“Eh, Hem. Has anything come into mind yet?” questioned Emeri.

Taking a deep breath in, River’s eyes met hers again. He swiped a hand over his beard, breathed out warmly, and looked up at the ceiling as if in thought.

“Well, I am considering mystery, thriller, or maybe even seduction,” returning his gaze to her.

There was no doubt of their attraction for each other. The look River continuously gave Emeri made her very nervous, creating instantly a bad habit of chewing her bottom lip to quieten her whirring thoughts. River reminded her of a weary traveler searching for rest. Being a Sleep Therapist, Emeri has encountered many types of stares. From patients with bloodshot eyes denying the value of sleep, only coming to her to prove to themselves sleep was unnecessary and a means of distraction, to patients with droopy eyes overdosed with slumber, weary and longing for an escape to never open their eyes again. However, River’s eyes were new to her. She felt that if the face on the book were alive, its eyes would move in a similar pattern as River’s. Where the book’s eyes were fixated, only looking for eyes that would lock onto it, River’s eyes were searching, wondering, and hoping that what he was looking at was no mirage. His stare placed a burden of truth upon her. Thumping in her chest brought awareness to her heartbeat. Emeri fidgeted in her chair.

“I’m sure you’ll find a book with all three,” Emeri responded, dismissing the burden and praying he wouldn’t ask for a recommendation. The sunlight slowly dimmed its spotlight from the books on the shelves. Monday was swiftly ending, which meant a goodbye was coming soon. Emeri’s pride wanted her to be the first to say goodbye. Emeri rose from the table.

Looking up at Emeri, River smiled at her hastiness to leave and understood that a goodbye was inevitable. He wondered why it had to come now. Pulling out his phone, River texted Emeri.

“There goes my number.”

Ping, ping, ping.

“Oh, I’ll try hard to use it,” Emeri said, glancing at her phone and saving his number.

“Not too hard,” River said with wide eyes.

They stifled another laugh, earthquake avoided.

Still smiling, Emeri grabbed her purse and started to walk away.

“You forgot your book,” the chair scratched against the floor as River stood up with her book in his hand.

Emeri turned around.

“My goodness, how could I forget such a beautiful face?” Emeri exclaimed in an enchanted voice while looking at the book.

“This is going to be a problem,” he passed her the book.

“What? Me judging books by their covers?” Emeri received the book while looking at him, confused.

“Enjoy the rest of your day, Emeri,” he smiled.

“You too, River,” she said as she walked away.

Saying goodbye to him was the weirdest bye she had ever experienced. Her legs felt wobbly. Emeri wanted to spend more time in his presence because she thought, for a while, all she would have was his voice. 

The sun kept setting as she walked to her car. Once in the car, she started the engine. 

“Ping, ping, ping.”

Looking at her phone, Emeri read the message.

Message

From: 🏞️

Don’t look so sad.

Maybe he was having another cocky moment, Emeri thought, because sadness is not what she believed she felt. The book stared at her in the passenger seat, silently begging her to pick it up. Scooping it up from the chair, Emeri randomly opened a page.

What if I told you there is an undiscovered emotion with no name? Yes, I know all feelings have been discovered and felt. We have fear, happiness, anger, disgust, surprise, joy, and last but not least, contentment. At first, those feelings were spoon-fed, gently and softly cooing and cawing at our fuzzy minds, convincing us to respond to our feelings in a jerking, unconscious manner.

There was no time to taste or understand the odd, unusual textures swirling on our chest, our tongues spewing out words in a rude, distasteful gesture. There was no time to appreciate the shock of sweetness exciting our minds; there was just a dire need to hold on to the emotion for as long as possible. Anger and happiness are the names dedicated to those emotions. They come and go at their leisure and are sometimes intentionally triggered to discover the shape our faces will take. 

Can you be distorted? 

Emeri paused, closed the book, and picked up her phone. 

Message

To: 🏞️

Meeting you was lovely.

Leaving was the last thing I wanted to do. 

And I’m not sad.

A knock on Emeri’s window made her jump. She looked up from her phone to see River standing with his head slightly tilted in a challenge. Emeri laughed softly and inhaled lightly. Turning the car off, She opened her car door and stepped out of the car. She faced his chest, wondering if it was pounding like hers. Slowly, she looked up at him.

“So then stay,” River said calmly.

“Ok,” responded Emeri.

“Help me find a mysterious, thrilling, and seductive book.”

Smiling, Emeri nodded her head softly. River extended his elbow so she could put her arms through to interlock with his. They walked back into Barnes and Noble with their elbows still interlocked. Emeri and Nessa’s eyes met. Nessa opened her mouth wide in shock with a stack of books in her hands.

“Damn, that book works fast! What’s the n me of that book again?” asked Nessa.

River and Emeri started laughing, breaking away from each other.

“She got lost. I was showing her the way back, like the gentleman I am.” River said, putting his right hand over his heart.

A rebuttal was forming on Emeri’s chest as she thought of a statement that would keep her pride intact.

Can you be distorted? The author whispered in her mind. Emeri remembered before closing the book; she glimpsed one more question the author wanted her to ponder:

Or, can you level with yourself, clear the fuzziness, and create a path forward?

Emeri looked up at River.

“The Fantasy section is straight ahead towards the back. I’ll show you .” Emeri started walking toward the back of the bookstore.

Nessa giggled, shook her head, and returned to put the books she had in her hand on the shelf. Licking his lips, River smirked while watching Emeri walk away. After a few steps, Emeri noticed River was not following. She stopped and looked back.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

“I’m just taking a moment in silent appreciation,” responded River.

Emeri covered her mouth to laugh, thought it best to say nothing, and continued walking. She imagined they could go on and on. River flowed so well with her, staying true to his name. All she needed to do was face what she felt, be patient, and like she would tell a restless patient, find equilibrium and let the moment take you into the next.